Thanks for doing this interview with me. Could you both first tell me how you identify yourself sexually or otherwise?
When did you approach the subject of your sexuality?
Husband: We never actually sat down and had a “big chat”. We had been friends before we were a couple, so ‘husband’ just assumed and ‘wife’ had an inclination, but, it first came out in the relationship about 6 years in – 18 months after being married – we were having a pizza and husband made a comment along the lines of “boyfriends” and wife was like “yours? What?”.
What were the original feelings for you both?
Husband: There was just an assumption that because we’d been mates, the topic had been covered.
Wife: Shocked that it hadn’t been mentioned outright before, but not surprised either. It was more along the lines of “you probably should’ve mentioned that before we got married”.
I hear some people will not date bisexuals, what message would you like to give to them? (be nice)
Husband: If the only thing stopping them is their sexuality, then that’s more a reflection on you then them. Don’t be so narrow minded. Bisexuality is no different from heterosexual or homosexual, it’s just someone wanting love.
Wife: Stop being so narrow-minded! People complain that they can’t find ‘the one’. Well if ‘the one’ chooses you over 50% of the population – awesome! If ‘the one’ chooses you over 100% – mega wins!
Do you think that your sexuality is masked by your relationship, is this an issue for you and how do you deal with it?
Husband: No, because I don’t go around with a sticker saying look at the bisexual! It is as a part of me as my height or hair or eye colour. You don’t expect a same-sex couple to say “oh we’re gay by the way” nor an opposite sex to proclaim straightness. I will talk openly about my sexuality and preferences if people ask. I have types, I’m not attracted to everyone no matter what bisexuality is betrayed as. I have never cheated, I’m not into threesomes, and I don’t fancy everything with a heartbeat. My sexuality is masked by my personality, not my lover.
Wife: As a straight person, I guess this isn’t really applicable. I don’t introduce husband as being bi because he is a *husband* who happens to be bi, he also happens to be left wing, have a rubbish sense of humour, have a different taste in books to me, but they don’t invoke the same stereotypes. I don’t want him to be known as bi, I don’t think he should be known as ‘name’ not as bisexual.
I know from personal experience there is prejudice towards bisexuals, when you first began your relationship what was your view towards bisexuals, and has that changed since you have been together?
Wife: I never have and will never care if someone is straight, bi, transgender, gay, black, brown, oriental, white, or pink with purple spots! I care whether they are an arse or not. I have held this view since way before I was a teenager, and it will never change.
Thanks for doing this interview. I always ask at the end what message would you like to give to our readers?
Husband: Assuming you’re reading this because it has triggered an interest for you, I ask two things 1. Don’t worry about offending people, if you know them well enough, admit your limited knowledge and use them to learn. 2. Love conquers hate.
It doesn’t matter who you love, all that matters is you love.
Wife: Bisexuality is NOT the same as promiscuity. In the three short years we have been married, I have lost my brother, and suffered anxiety and depression. Husband is still here, because you know what, that is what love is about. And bisexuality does not decrease the ability to love.