Questioning yourself. 

Last updated on 31st December 2016

Questioning you’re self identify is hard to do.

As a friend put it, it’s the period between discovering you may not be ‘heterosexual’ or you are feeling conflicted in regards of your gender’ and knowing who you truly are!

Often a while before you come out too.

So I asked the question……. 

What advise you would give someone who is questioning their sexuality and/or gender?


Don’t feel pressured to figure it out now. It’s OK to explore.


Be true to who you are. No matter what. It’s the only peace.


You don’t have to label yourself. Have fun, be safe, and be happy.


Don’t be rude! Use some lube.

You are perfect no matter the answer to your question


If you have questions you have in regards of your identity, then explore them with the person you are attracted to.


Don’t be afraid to be your own brand of lgbt


Dr Seuss said it best #loveislove


Feel free to question someone you trust who’s gone through the same type of questioning. It’s natural. Seek support.


Sexuality are gender are spectrums, don’t let labels define who you are.


No matter your answers you’re still you. Don’t find a label that fits? Define your own orientation.


Don’t let other people’s opinions influence who you want to be.


Don’t ask for advice, and if someone tries to advise you, don’t listen. That’s my advice.


Try it before you buy it.

You don’t have to feel guilty if you make a mistake, simply be honest at all times, as much as you can and don’t rush, don’t ever feel obligated to give yourself a label!

From this point onwards Also available in Spanish

Going through adolescence is tough at best of times. however when you are unsure about your self identity it can make it much harder. So I asked our followers on @Mattersofpride what advice would they give anyone questioning their self identity….. 


If you spend your whole life hiding your true self because of what others think, you’ll only end up hurting yourself.


You’re not the first and nor will you be the last to have doubts and discovering your true identity is not a race. Relax.


Take your time. Find support. Reach out to someone you trust before the stress gets to you.


You don’t have to know today. Love who you love, accept love, and be honest about your feelings. It’s to hard trying to be someone else.


A lot of us struggle with self identity. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Surround yourself with encouraging, positive people


It’s ok to not know. 

It’s ok to not have an answer.


Authentically be yourself and realize that your gifts to the world can never be reproduced.


Question in a gentle, loving way. Put aside bias from upbringing/religion/community. Know that identity is fluid over time.


There is lots of time to find out and explore yourself, as long as youre living your life and having fun you’re doing.


Allow yourself to be the star you truly are.

There is only one of you.

See your potential.

Live, love and be happy.

Life is for living and loving.

I personally would recommend to concentrate on your own mental wellbeing, don’t worry about telling people because of ‘honesty issues’, people keep secrets all the time.

The number one priority is YOU. 

What is most important is understanding yourself and moving away from the questioning group at your own speed accepting the beauty of who you truly are.

Extra information. 

Here are Wipe out Homophobia’s pages on advice for families and lgbtqia persons.

The above are also available in Spanish.

There is plenty of support out there for parents too. 

Pflag groups are global. Here are a few of countries groups websites. 

UK –

Canada –


Australia -

If you would like your countries pflag group adding please contact us with the details.
We are constantly updating these pages with more information, please keep checking and advising. 

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